Bradezone

So yeah, here are some updates.

• I may be redesigning the site soon. By soon I mean some time during 2008.
• My fantasy hockey team won my league this year. Another t-shirt is headed my way.
• Baseball season is here, and I am rocking MLB Extra Innings this year. Yes, I am one of those people who celebrates Opening Day the same way a young child wearing one-piece pajamas celebrates Christmas morn.
• What is the origin of the phrase “I’ve got no beef with you”? What the heck does beef have to do with interpersonal conflict?
• At work I am helping improve our content management system, BlueInk, by creating an intuitive experience that would allow you to control your website’s layout, design, and content all from the front-end view of your site, eliminating the need for a separate administrative interface.
• I got a call recently from long-time friend, novel co-author, Bench member, and world traveler Ed Long, who is now rocking a beach house in Florida. I am due for an imminent visit.
• Less than four months stand between me and a two-week jaunt in the Pacific Northwest.
• My friends and I have contracted Rock Band fever. I am now executing most songs with lead guitar on Expert.
• My mom now has e-mail. And I think she visits my site from time to time. Hi, mom!

Why is it that every time I accidentally splash water, it all flies directly into my crotch area? It is perturbing. Excuse me if I want to be sanitary and wash my hands or clean a dirty dish. For some odd reason water has this pent-up angst towards me, and it never fails to make its point by giving me a wet patch right where I don’t need one. Then of course I have to be all discreet about it, or attempt to make some joke like, “Well, looks like I’m not quite ready to wear big-kid pants after all!” And no amount of “wiping down” takes care of the problem. It’s basically one of those stupid things I have to wait out. But the whole time I’m thinking, “Just you wait, water. I am so going to enjoy the next time I get to use the commode.”

Another question I’ve been pondering is the role of pineapple. For some reason pineapple has been deemed worthy of inclusion in non-sweet dishes such as pizza and stir-fry. Why does everyone just accept that as a standard reality? You might as well put strawberries or grapes in your stir-fry. Or hey, how about a scrumptious slice of blueberry pizza? Man, forget that. Just because we added Hawaii as an official “state” doesn’t mean we need to put pineapple on everything to show our acceptance. Look, there’s nothing wrong with being a key part of various cakes and ice creams. So come on, pineapple, know your role.

Are you white? Do you live in America? Are you college educated? Then head on over to Stuff White People Like, a brazen and borderline genius blog begun earlier this year by some dudes who know what’s going down. Granted, “white people” actually consists of a smaller subset as intimated by my three questions, but this site pretty much nails its description of the “quest for authenticity” that seems to beset many an unwitting soul.